“The Devil’s Double” Registers on the Creepy Meter

The Devil's DoubleI watched a fairly disturbing, yet thoroughly entertaining movie Saturday entitled “The Devil’s Double.”

It is a biographical adaptation of how in 1987, Uday Hussein, the eldest son of Saddam Hussein, selected an Iraqi soldier to become his body double and political decoy.

Uday is a narcissistic playboy. He runs about in his sports cars picking and choosing whatever he wishes to play with next. He chooses Latif Yahia, who was a former schoolmate of Uday’s, and shared a likeness to the Iraqi president’s son.

The idea being that there are far too many personal engagements for Hussein to make himself, besides it gets in the way of his partying and someone might take a shot at him.

Latif considers the option but feels it would be the death of his own identity.

The problem is a request from Uday is more like an order.

Latif is placed in prison to think over his “true” final decision, and is informed of what will happen should he not accept Uday’s gracious invitation.

“Please be clear about this, Latif. Uday has chosen you. You belong to him. You have about five minutes to think about this, before a car pulls up outside you house in Al-Adhamiya and your family, every one of them – your father, your mother, your sisters and brothers; is thrown into Abu Ghraib. God willing they will die quickly. I’ve said too much. You have about two minutes left,” said Munem, Hussein’s chief governmental handler.

After realizing this is a Hobson’s choice, Latif relents to playing Hussein.

[TRAILER – THE DEVIL’S DOUBLE]

He is required to have minor cosmetic surgery to smooth his features, and dentures made so his teeth match Uday’s gap-toothed smile.

Latif comes to live with Hussein at his palace so he may learn his mannerisms. They share the trappings of Uday’s fortune, wearing the same designer suits and Rolex watches, traveling in luxury automobiles, and making the all-night party scene.

Hussein calls Latif brother, but he is more like a pet.

Uday has him tied to a table in one scene, where he viciously whips Latif as punishment for leaving a disco without permission after becoming disgusted by Hussein’s behavior.

Without discipline there is chaos Uday is heard muttering.

This is barbaric, but it is only the tip of the atrocities Hussein is capable of perpetrating.

Uday Hussein.

Uday Hussein.

He has the mentality of a spoiled child with the authority of an executioner.

Most disturbing is his penchant for sexual conquest. Uday is a predator, and a pedophile, with an insatiable appetite.

Any woman he sees, whether they are with someone or not, he takes. He gropes and sleeps with anything he wants, including transvestites.

He steals a bride away on her wedding day, and plucks schoolgirls from the streets, lured by his sports cars.

His security detail kidnaps them. Then Uday rapes and kills the girls. The same security detail disposes of their extinguished bodies in the desert outside Baghdad.

He is a sociopath. One minute happy, smoking his big cigars and hugging friends, the next torturing, raping and murdering, then back again to happy, as if nothing happened.

His behavior and mood swings are rapid, and unpredictable.

No one can tell what will set him off or when.

Like a child, Uday plays endlessly with whatever new toy he has discovered, but when he tires of a woman or acquaintance, instead of simply moving on, he chooses to kill the person, because he can.

It’s uncomfortable to see how little value he places on human life.

Saddam Hussein does discipline Uday physically, and abhors his lustful tendencies, but this is his oldest son, and heir to the throne, so his deplorable and erratic behavior is tolerated.

After Iraq invades Kuwait and the first Gulf War ensues, Uday’s sadistic behavior worsens, to the point that Latif attempts to kill himself and eventually escapes.

This results in Uday killing Latif’s father as a penalty.

Revenge is exacted, and Uday is severely wounded in an assassination attempt, but survives, until U.S. forces killed him, along with his brother Qusay, and Qusay’s son, in 2003.

Cooper in his role as Latif playing Uday Heussein.

Dominic Cooper in his role as Latif Yahia and Uday Heussein.

Dominic Cooper is excellent in the role of both Uday and Latif. He provides separate and believable personalities for each character that are both alluring.

It’s eery witnessing Latif practice and grow into becoming Uday, while coexisting under the constant fear these body doubles must endure.

In the end there is no doubt Saddam and his children were evil. It is a good thing they are no longer in power, nor alive. But this film makes you question if it was worth all those U.S. soldiers’ lives and Iraqi civilian deaths to bring that about?

The movie was directed by Lee Tamahori, and released in 2011, with a run-time of 108 minutes.

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Eight Masked Gunmen Steal $50 Million in Diamonds from Swiss-bound Plane

The Helvetic Air flight canceled after being robbed of its diamond cargo at Brussels' airport.

This Helvetic Air flight was canceled after being robbed of its diamond cargo in Brussels, Belgium.

On Monday $50 million in precious stones was pilfered from the hold of a Zurich-bound plane without a shot ever being fired.

This was a once in a generation kind of rip.

“What we are talking about is obviously a gigantic sum,” said Caroline De Wolf, of the Antwerp World Diamond Centre.

This vaguely resembles the plot from the 2000 Guy Ritchie film, “Snatch,” starring Brad Pitt, Benicio Del Toro and Jason Statham. As the film begins, Statham’s character, Turkish, famously questions, “What do I know about diamonds. I’m a boxing promoter.”

I get armed robbery is nothing to glorify, and that it’s dangerous business; if any airport personnel had tried a hero-move chances are that someone would be dead. Those eight masked gunmen did not drive out onto that airport tarmac not prepared to shoot if necessary to get away with those stones quickly.

Still, we’re not talking about holding up a Quickie Mart or the corner liquor store.

Usually this kind of brazen orchestration is something we see surrounding the theft of priceless works of art, such as paintings.

But make no mistake this snatch-and-grab was a work of art.

They had to somehow get the information that this shipment was being made first, probably from the inside, and then put a plan together and a talented team.

A fence is locked and patrolled near where robbers entered the airport. Trip wires are now being discussed as a way to monitor the extensive fencing surrounding airports.

A fence is locked and patrolled near where robbers entered the Brussels’ airport. Trip wires are now being discussed as a way to monitor the extensive fencing surrounding airports.

An airport spokesman said they made a hole in the perimeter security fence at Brussels’ international airport, and drove a black Mercedes car and van up to the Swiss passenger plane approximately 20 minutes before its scheduled 8:05 departure.

Wearing dark clothing, it’s reported the men posed as police officers, with both vehicles displaying flashing blue roof-lights as they approached.

An armored van had arrived moments before delivering 120 parcels of diamonds from the Belgium port city of Antwerp, the world’s capital of rough and polished gems, which is located 27 miles from the airport.

The robbers flashed their automatic weapons to the airline and transport security workers on the tarmac, freezing everyone and leaving them dumbfounded, then grabbed the cache of stones from the hold and roared off into the darkness.

Imagine the control these guys exhibited over their behavior and adrenaline, knowing there were eyes and cameras on them everywhere. There could be no screaming or yelling, nor frantic waiving of weapons.

These guys were calm and efficient under immense pressure.

Diamonds are forever...

Diamonds are forever…

Their clothing and vehicles looked close enough to the real thing to allow them onto the tarmac without drawing undue attention. I must assume it is not irregular to see law enforcement on international runways, otherwise security at the Brussels’ airport must have fallen asleep at the wheel.

Regardless, their disguises allowed the robbers the necessary time required to pull off the heist.

It took five minutes from start to finish.

Poof.

Gone.

Like Keyser Soze in the 1995 Brian Singer film, “The Usual Suspects.”

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. And like that, poof. He’s gone,” said Kevin Spacey as Verbal Kint.

Five minutes goes by fast unless you are the one standing there exposed.

If anyone questioned why those fake police vehicles were out on the tarmac, over by the one plane that happened to be carrying $50 million in diamonds, there would be no escaping.

These robbers were hiding in plain sight, which is very effective but extremely dangerous.  If their cover got blown they were either caught or dead.

I learned insurance on this kind of transport comes cheap because air delivery is considered so safe.

Not this time.

The Mercedes van used in the heist found on fire.

The Mercedes van used in the heist found on fire.

It had been just long enough since the last big diamond heist, in 2003, when about $100 million in precious articles were removed from high-security vaults at Antwerp’s Diamond Center, that a level of complacency had returned to the transportation of diamonds via air flight.

Police found one burned out vehicle close to the airport later Monday night. The location of the other remains unknown.

This robbery has a similar feel to the Lufthansa heist on December 11, 1978, when an airport worker at JFK in New York clued associates of the Lucchese crime family that millions of dollars in untraceable American currency was being flown in once a month from monetary exchanges for military servicemen and tourists in West Germany.

Remains of the burned out Mercedes van.

Remains of the burned out Mercedes van.

An estimated $5 million in cash and $875,000 in jewels was stolen in what was the largest cash robbery in American history at the time.

This was a huge story, but returned to modern consciousness as the centerpiece of the plot to Martin Scorsese’s 1990 Oscar-winning gangster film “Goodfellas.”

You have to hand it to whoever pulled off this Swiss Air robbery, it was pretty bad ass!

Now these guys have to move $50 million in stolen ice – and keep a very big secret.

That gets heavy, and human nature makes us want to take credit for a job well done.

I mean how many people out there are capable of executing this level of operation?

The list has to be small, and I’m sure drastic inquiries will be made of all possible suspects.

Law enforcement is going to be crawling through the backgrounds of every worker in that airport terminal, looking for irregularities.

If you are one of the eight guys who pulled this job off, suddenly the world is not such a big place, but damn, how intense must it be to score a heist like that without firing a shot.

The planning and precision were impeccable.

Best of luck boys – keep your heads low and the wind at your backs!

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Maker’s Mark Misses Target

Maker's MarkI have been a member of the Maker’s Mark ambassador program for over a decade, which means I was fond of bourbon at far too young an age, and I drink a bit of it.

Bourbon drinkers are funny, in fact you could call us particular.

That’s why I scratched my head two weeks back when I received an e-mail through the ambassador program from Rob Samuels, who has taken over as the Ambassador-in-Chief from his dad, Bill Samuels, Jr., which discussed how the popularity for Maker’s had outstripped supply, and in order to continue meeting demand the Loretto-based distillery was going to decrease its alcohol volume from 45 percent to 42 percent per bottle, taking the proof down from 90 to 84.

It takes the better part of six years to get Marker’s Mark from a barrel to a bottle, so a shortfall today is the result of guessing conservatively in 2007 how many thirsty people there would be in 2013.

Bill Samuels Jr. characterized the shortage in his own, inimitable fashion, “I was the forecaster in chief around here…I must have been asleep at the wheel.”

Obviously seeing this kind of growth in demand is a good problem to have, but tinkering with such a successful recipe is dangerous business.

The popular brand, ever noticeable by its squared-off bottle and red wax seal, has been struggling to keep up with demand for years.

The idea here was to add “a touch more water” when the whiskey came out of the barrel for bottling, which would dilute the original alcohol content, and would allow Maker’s to increase its distribution amount by 6 percent.

Over the last two years Maker’s has invested $54.3 million into its Loretto facility, expanding the distillery to increase production capacity by 45 percent, and adding warehouse space for an additional 100,000 barrels of aging bourbon.

It’s not like they are going out of business. They are making wise investments, just hold tight and it will come, but don’t mess with a good thing.

I’ve been on the Maker’s bandwagon since high school. Even though Jim Beam now owns it, the label still handcrafts its entire product and produces small batches, which has maintained the brand’s overall quality.

That kind of attention to detail is evident in each bottle and comes through with every sip.

As the profile of bourbon has increased over the past 20 years, there have been several new brands to come along, like Woodford Reserve and Bulleit, along with a bevy of established labels producing offshoot super premium and small batch labels, like Blanton’s from Buffalo Trace or Booker’s from Jim Beam – but Maker’s Mark already was doing all these things with its standard bottle.

When I first started going to college in Iowa in 1987, I couldn’t get Maker’s Mark anywhere out there. I went from bringing one bottle back at Christmas or Thanksgiving, to becoming a mini-bootlegger, filling my car with cases of this liquid gold to provide to needy converts in the Midwest.

My guess is the ambassador program grew out of Bill Samuels Jr. going around the country and hosting cocktail parties for wayward Kentuckians who knew the medicinal value of a Maker’s Mark cocktail.

When I moved to Washington, DC, I would bring a slew of people to those happy hours at the Old Ebbitt Grill. Samuels would be there ebullient as ever in formal wear and top hat, ready to spread the gospel of bourbon.

The ambassador program was a brilliant way to recognize Maker’s devoted followers and increase its brand’s profile. It was the first of its kind, and a fun way to promote one of Kentucky’s natural resources.

Hell my buddies and I ended up doing a focus group for Maker’s one night on Capitol Hill. There were four or five of us and a bottle of whiskey. I would love to see that video.

What I don’t want to see is any change to the recipe or harm coming to the label for a short-term fix.

As I mentioned at the start, I scratched my head when I read that first e-mail about diluting the alcohol content. It didn’t seem like that was going to go over well.

A week later, on Sunday February 17, the second e-mail arrived explaining after an overwhelming response Maker’s Mark would not be reducing its alcohol-by-volume.

On the left is Chairman Emeritus Bill Samuels Jr., and right is his son, Chief Operating Officer Rob Samuels.

On the left is Chairman Emeritus Bill Samuels Jr., and right is his son, Chief Operating Officer Rob Samuels.

Rob Samuels put it succinctly into perspective, “You spoke. We Listened. And we’re sincerely sorry we let you down.”

They made a mistake and had the good sense to admit such and fixed it quickly – now Maker’s can get back to making some of the finest whiskey on Earth.

I’m sure Beam, Inc. is concerned that another bottle might replace Maker’s on shelves if suddenly the distinctive redhead isn’t available.

Thing is, there is no replacing Maker’s Mark. That’s like trying to replace Jack Daniel’s. Can’t be done. Maker’s has a distinct flavor and look.

When I’m in the mood for it nothing else will satisfy.

But one final cautionary message to Jim Beam, please don’t go jacking up the price of Maker’s Mark to compensate for its lower availability. Attempting to price-out usual customers from their brand as a way to limit demand is a horrible idea.

Cheers!

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Slaughterhouse-Five

VonnegutI’ve been chomping down on books lately, trying to get some off my list. I didn’t always make the best use of time during my formative years, and missed reading several pieces of literature I should have digested eons ago.

One was the 1969 novel “Slaughterhouse-Five” by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. I’ve read other works by Vonnegut, but never got back around to this treasure after neglecting it in high school.

Though not a dense work, the concept behind it, his character development, pacing and Vonnegut’s ability to keep the character string intact as he moved the protagonist through time and space is amazing.

This is a war book on the surface, and quite graphically deals with the inevitable destruction that comes with violent conflict, whether its participants are willing or not.

And then there are the space aliens. That is something not found in many war novels.

The story centers on Billy Pilgrim, a fatalistic optometrist, who has become unstuck in time. Meaning instead of going about his life in the usual linear fashion, day-by-day, incrementally, Billy sometimes leaves the present and jumps forward and backward uncontrollably, changing time and place.

Pilgrim was unremarkable.

He was an awkward child, born in 1922, in Ilium, New York. Weak and funny looking, he didn’t transition well into a soldier.

Billy is thrown into war in Belgium at the Battle of the Bulge and quickly taken prison behind German lines.

As a POW, living in Slaughterhouse Five, Pilgrim witnesses the allied firebombing of Dresden, where 130,000 people were incinerated. As a prisoner, Billy is forced to excavate the corpses from the rubble.

This is one of many examples that bring into question the idea of “Free Will.”

Billy returns to his hometown of Ilium, where he finishes optometry school. He has a nervous breakdown and commits himself to a VA hospital where shock treatments are administered, and he is introduced to the science fiction writing of Kilgore Trout.

Billy then gets married and has a prosperous life, which on the surface looks grand and normal, but underneath his reality is fragile at best. He doesn’t fit in, and all the trappings of success mean nothing.

Vonnegut 3The night after his daughter’s wedding, as he later reveals on a radio talk show, Billy is kidnapped by two-foot-high aliens from Tralfamadore, who resemble upside-down toilet plungers. They take him back to their planet in a flying saucer, where he is placed into a form of zoo for extraterrestrial curiosities. Inside this transparent geodesic structure he is paired with sultry movie actress Montana Wildhack, so they may be observed mating.

Tralfamadorians exist in the fourth dimension, where all life occurs simultaneously. If a person dies, they only die in that one particular moment. They are alive and fine in other moments, and Tralfamadorians can elect to live in other moments in time, thus avoiding any true ending.

Once returned to Earth, Billy escapes some near-death experiences, while others around him are not so lucky. This doesn’t disturb Pilgrim, as he has already foreseen his demise, and thus has some control over it, and can pass with dignity, which is something he lacked in most other aspects of his life.

Pilgrim already had a tenuous grip on reality, but after going to war and witnessing horrific destruction, Billy becomes mentally unstable.

It’s questionable whether Pilgrim was really abducted by aliens and forced to live in a zoo with a movie star. No doubt it’s fun to take Vonnegut’s writing literally and enjoy the ride he provides.

The more likely scenario is that some of the things Pilgrim witnessed were so disturbing that he came unhinged, and imagining that he was abducted by aliens was a way to explain what had happened to himself, and serves as a coping mechanism.

There are several instances in the book where mundane events trigger a memory from the war for Pilgrim, and he goes time tripping. If he had to deal with those war flashbacks in their entirety it might prove too much for his fragile mental state, but when one allows himself to say, “Hey I was abducted by aliens, nothing I can do about that,” it gives Pilgrim an out.

Author Kurt Vonnegut.

Author Kurt Vonnegut.

Regardless it is brilliant writing by Vonnegut, to put these dual realities together so well that it’s questionable whether what Pilgrim sees is fact or a grand hallucination.

Vonnegut frames these changes in short chapters, or episodic vignettes, that disorient a reader, as I was ripped away to travel along with Pilgrim and try to grasp where he had been transported to in the past or future.

Vonnegut allows himself to serve as the book’s narrator, which provides an avenue for him to unburden some of his own war experiences. Occasionally he makes brief cameos in the story, but those are mainly interludes to get Pilgrim moving forward once again.

There are a variety of other characters in this book, of varying significance, but the novel centers so much on Pilgrim, they really only come into play in terms of moving Billy’s story along.

Overall this is a condemnation of war. Much of Billy’s problems emanate from him having to hide inside a meat locker in order to survive the Dresden bombing. He goes back, mentally, to that meat locker often.

It matters little what happens to Pilgrim later in life. The question of why he was allowed to survive the bombing and what he had to do to survive the bombing, took an everlasting toll on Billy’s life.

This theme in particular is compelling considering the number of young men and women currently returning from Iraq and Afghanistan who have seen unforgettable, horrible events, and suffered life-altering injuries, then are returned to America, where few can comprehend their sacrifices.

That Billy was an optometrist by trade I assume is a sly reference by Vonnegut that somebody needs to correct our conscious vision about the costs and value of war as a means to an end.

Pilgrim never seems to correct his own vision, but does find comfort in his acceptance of the Tralfamadorians’ view of life in the fourth dimension – that all moments in time exist simultaneously and repeat themselves endlessly. This way Billy always knows what is going to happen because it already has happened and will continue to happen the same way.

This feeds into the argument that “Free Will” is but an illusion. Sure we have choices but those choices lead to the same conclusions, whether we want them to or not. It’s a question of whether individuals have a pre-determined fate.

Vonnegut 4This in turn leads to one of the great literary transition techniques ever, as Vonnegut employs the mundane offering, “So It Goes,” to recognize a thought passage, time travel or story interlude, which has concluded and now we are moving on to something new.

It also serves as a commentary and critique from the narrator in three words as to the pointlessness and inevitability that whatever is being addressed cannot be avoided, particularly concerning death.

To say there is no free will seems extreme. Absolutely there are certain people doomed to a premature unfortunate ending. They will not triumph over their adversity. But choices can be made; sacrifices endured, hard work endeavored, resulting in multiple pathways.

Doors open and doors close – choose wisely and beware.

“Poo-tee-weet?”

Always remember that war comes cheap to those who wage it. We saw that under President George W. Bush most recently, as he sent men and women to die so he could appear more serious to powerful men like his father, and make a lot of money for his cronies.

Now we see all this death and dismemberment from drone-based warfare. At least before there was accountability among those on the lines; modern evolution has delivered a robot that buzzes past disguised as death, which drops its payload without compromise.

“So it goes.”

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New Tunes for Winter Warmth

Rival SonsI’ve been burning the midnight oil for a couple weeks now on a project, and needed to blow the jams out to give my cranium a break – so I made a new mix. Kind of a “fuck a bunch of winter” set of songs.

Most of these are recent tunes that stood out in my mind as something I wanted to get on a disc in order to hear them more often, and louder. Things like “Pressure and Time” from Rival Sons, “Panic Station” from Muse, and “Would That Not Be Nice” from Divine Fits, which is a super-band made up of members from Spoon and Wolf Parade.

Quite a few I’ve featured on LlamaTraxx when I initially found them. But others, like “Wor” by Django Django, were a bit more obscure. Their disc wasn’t available on iTunes for a while, even though the British band’s debut CD picked up some well deserved credit as one of the best releases in 2012.

RageI ran across Seattle rapper Macklemore late last year, and then heard “Thrift Shop” more recently, which is an addictive tune, and an even better video, but of course now it’s everywhere. “Thrift Shop” is the new “Gangnam Style.” Somebody must stop it.

Then there were a couple slightly older tunes I put on to bring the heat: “Bullet in the Head” by Rage Against the Machine; “The Stars” by Moby; “DLZ” by TV on the Radio; “Midnight City” by M83.

The mix is entitled “JETTISON LIFE BOATS.” Pitch the shit overboard if you don’t need it – we’re either going to make it or die trying…

It turned out even better than expected, which is always a pleasure. I’ve passed it along to a couple folks, and reviews have been solid.

Honestly, these tunes make me want to drink and drive – break out the 40s and drop the windows.

Django Django – Wor; Rival Sons – Pressure and Time; Gary Clark Jr. – Don’t Owe You a Thang; Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Thrift Shop; Tapes ‘n Tapes – Insistor; Rage Against the Machine – Bullet in the Head; Nas – Nasty; Maus Haus – Hey Jean; Muse – Panic Station; Killer Mike – Ready Set Go (Feat. T.I.); The Devil Makes Three – Old Number 7; Moby – The Stars; Blues Image – Ride Captain Ride; Cass McCombs – The Same Thing; Divine Fits – Would That Not Be Nice; TV on the Radio – DLZ; M83 – Midnight City; Fiona Apple – Every Single Night; The XX – Crystalised.

The XXCheers!

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SHOWTIME UPDATE

MuseSHOW ALERT:

* Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears hook it up tonight in Lexington at Cosmic Charlies. Hailing from Austin, TX, these guys are a combination of blues, funk and soul. They are a gratuitously fun show to catch. Monday, February 18, tickets are $14.

* Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots must be clean enough to do solo gigs now, and is stopping by Bogart’s in Cincinnati on Friday, March 22, tickets are $25.

* If you haven’t seen Gov’t Mule, and like the Grateful Dead, Allman Brothers, or Widespread Panic, these guys are a must see. Guitarist Warren Haynes is one of the greatest guitar players living currently, and this band is composed of road warriors. They are a bit harder than the other bands mentioned, but Mule always throws in some tasty cover songs to smooth the edges. They play the Taft Theater in Cincinnati on Saturday, April 27, tickets are $32.50.

* The Muse show at U.S. Bank Arena is only nine days away. Their new disc “Panic Station” is excellent and Muse brings a lights and effects presence similar to Queen and Led Zeppelin. This is a great venue to catch them in as it’s about half the size of the usual venues where Muse plays. Wednesday, February 27, tickets are $39.50 to $49.50.

* Tiesto plays Nationwide Arena in Columbus in 10 days. This is a big show in size but this area doesn’t get a guy like Tiesto much. If you want to see what the EDM (Electronic Dance Music) scene is all about check out this show. It will be trippy fun. Thursday February 28, tickets are $48.40.

Check out the complete listings under the tab LlamaShows:

LOUISVILLE, KY

HEADLINERS MUSIC HALL | 1386 Lexington Road | Louisville, KY |502-584-8088

Tame Impala w/The Growl | Sat. Mar. 02 | $22.85 | Doors 20:00 | 18+

Circa Survive w/Minus the Bear | Mon. Mar. 11 | $20 adv-$22 dos | Doors 19:00

Milo Greene w/Kopecky Family Band | Sat. Mar. 16 | $12 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

Atl-J w/Hundred Waters | Tue. Mar. 19 | $14 | Doors 20:00 | 18+

Frightened Rabbit | Wen. Mar. 27 | $13 adv-$15 dos | Doors 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

THE KENTUCKY CENTER | 501 West Main Street | 502-562-0100

Buddy Guy and Jonny Lang | Whitney Hall | Tue. Mar. 05 | $35 | 19:30

Indigo Girls | Whitney Hall | Sat. Mar. 30 | $20 | 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

LOUISVILLE PALACE | 625 S. 4th St. | Louisville, KY |502-583-4555

Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth | Sat. Mar. 23 | $29.50-$89.50 | 20:00

Leonard Cohen | Sat. Mar. 30 | $49.50-$252.50 | 20:00

Widespread Panic | Tue. Apr. 16 | $39.75-$50 | 19:30

Widespread Panic | Wed. Apr. 17 | $39.75-$50 | 19:30

*     *     *     *     *

LEXINGTON, KY

COSMIC CHARLIE’S | 388 Woodland Avenue | Lexington, KY | 859-309-9499

Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears | Mon. Feb. 18 | $12 adv-$14 dos | 22:00

Nashville Pussy | Sun. Feb. 24 | $12 | 22:00

Born Cross Eyed | Sat. Mar. 02 | $8 | 22:00

The Meat Puppets | Wed. Apr. 10 | 22:00 | 18+

*     *     *     *     *

CINCINNATI, OH

BOGART’S | 2621 Vine Street | Cincinnati, OH | 513-872-8801

Clutch | Fri. Mar. 08 | $20 | 19:30

Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots) | Fri. Mar. 22 | $25 | 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

MADISON THEATER | 730 Madison Avenue | Covington, KY | 859-491-2444

Indigo Girls w/The Shadowboxers | Tue. Mar. 5 | $30 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

Minus the Bear w/Circa Survive | Fri. March 08 | $23 | Doors 18:30-Show 19:30

Animal Collective w/Dan Deacon | Tue. Mar. 12 | $25 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

Victor Wooten | Fri. Apr. 19 | $20 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

TAFT THEATER | 317 E. 5th Street | Cincinnati, OH | 513-232-6220

Brit Floyd | Fri. Mar. 08 | $29.50-$42.50 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

JEFF The Brotherhood | Mon. Apr. 01 | $12 adv-$15 dos | Doors 19:30-Show 20:30

Gov’t Mule | Sat. Apr. 27 | $32.50 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

U.S. BANK ARENA | 100 Broadway Street | Cincinnati, OH | 513-421-4111

Muse | Wen. Feb. 27 | $39.50-$49.50 | 19:00

*     *     *     *     *

COLUMBUS, OH

LC PAVILION | 405 Neil Avenue | Columbus, OH | 614-461-5483

Brit Floyd | Thu. Mar. 07 | $35 | GA | 19:00

First Dose feat. Alt-J, Little Green Cars | Sat. Mar. 30 | $5 | GA | Doors @ 17:00

The Avett Brothers | Sat. May 25 | $38 adv-$40 dos | GA | 18:30

*     *     *     *     *

NATIONWIDE ARENA | 200 W. Nationwide Boulevard | Columbus, OH | 614-246-200

Tiesto | Thu. Feb. 28 | $48.40 | GA | 19:00

*     *     *     *     *

NEWPORT MUSIC HALL | 1722 N. High Street | Columbus, OH | 614-294-1659

Tame Impala | Fri. Mar. 08 | $22.85 | GA | 19:00

Tyler the Creator | Tue. Mar. 12 | $20 adv-$25 dos | GA | Doors @ 1900

Django Django | Wen. Mar. 13 | $5 | GA | 19:00

Cold War Kids | Tue. Apr. 09 | $20 adv-$22 dos | GA | 19:00

The Black Angels | Wed. Apr. 17 | $17 adv-$20 dos | GA | Doors @ 19:00

Jim James | Tue. Apr. 23 | $26 adv-$28 dos | GA | Doors @ 19:00

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club | Sat. May 11 | $20 adv-$22 dos | GA | 19:00

*     *     *     *     *

SCHOTTENSTEIN CENTER | 555 Borror Drive | Columbus, OH | 614-688-3939

Muse w/Dead Sara | | Tue. Mar. 05 | $39.50-$49.50 |  19:00

*     *     *     *     *

INDIANAPOLIS, IN

THE VOGUE | 6259 N. College Avenue | Indianapolis, IN | 317-259-7029

The Hives w/The Zero Boys | Mon. Mar. 04 | $25 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

Todd Snider w/Chicago Farmer | Thu. Mar. 14 | $22-$25 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

Galactic w/Nigel Hall | Thu. Arp. 04 | $20 adv-$22 dos | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

The Joy Formidable | Sun. Apr. 07 | $16-$18 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

The Black Angels | Tue. May 07 | $14-$16 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club | Mon. May 13 | $18 adv-$20 dos | Doors 19:00

Mos Def | Fri. May 31 | $26-$28 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

*     *     *     *     *

RADIO RADIO | 1119 E. Prospect Street | Indianapolis, IN | 317-955-0995

Pokey LaFarge | Fri. Feb. 22 | $12 adv-$15 dos | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

Milo Greene w/Kopecky Family Band | Thu. Mar. 21 | $12 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

*     *     *     *     *

NASHVILLE, TN

THE CANNERY BALLROOM | One Cannery Row | Nashville, TN | 615-251-3020

Better Than Ezra | Thu. Mar. 14 | $40 adv-$50 dos | Doors @ 19:00

Alt-J | Mon. Mar. 18 | $15 adv-$17 dos | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

Cold War Kids | Tue. Apr. 16 | $21 adv-$23 dos | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

Beats Antique | Thu. Apr. 25 | $17 adv-$20 dos | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club | Wen. May 1 | $20 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

Jim James | Thu. May 2 | $26 | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

THE HIGH WATT | One Cannery Row | Nashville, TN | 615-251-3020

Meat Puppets | Thu. Apr. 11 | $13 adv-$15 dos | Doors 19:00-Show 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

MERCY LOUNGE | One Cannery Row | Nashville, TN | 615-251-3020

WAVVES w/Fidlar | Tue. Apr. 16 | $15 | Doors 19:00-Doors 20:00

Galactic | Wed. Apr. 17 | $25 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

Southern Culture on the Skids | Sat. Apr. 20 | $15 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

The Black Angels | Sun. May 5 | $15 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

The Breeders | Tue. May 14 | $20 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

*     *     *     *     *

RYMAN AUDITORIUM | 116 Fifth Avenue North | Nashville, TN | 615-889-3060

Dwight Yoakam | Fri. Apr. 12 | 20:00

The Black Crowes (Electric Show) | Sat. Apr. 20 | 19:30

The Black Crowes (Acoustic Performance) | Sun. Apr. 21 | 19:30

*     *     *     *     *

TICKET LINKS

Live Nation

StubHub

TicketMaster

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Radiohead Feeling the Squeeze

RadioheadWith winter temperatures dropping last night, it was the perfect opportunity to stay inside where it was warm, and watch “Meeting People Is Easy,” the 1998 rockumentary on Radiohead.

It follows the lads around the globe as they tour extensively behind “OK Computer,” their breakout 1997 release.

For those of us into progressive modern rock, it’s hard to identify a more significant album since “OK Computer.” Radiohead carries the torch left behind by Pink Floyd, and provides an intelligent mode of psychedelia.

The band continues to make unique and important recordings, but “OK Computer” was the record that separated them from the pack. I caught a stop on this tour in 1998, when Radiohead played the Tibetan Freedom Concert in Washington, DC.

[RADIOHEAD – TIBETAN FREEDOM CONCERT, JUNE 14, 1998]

Lots of good bands played this two-day festival, Beastie Boys, R.E.M., Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dave Matthews Band, Pearl Jam, but Radiohead was the only one that caught people by surprise.

They sound deadly correct live, serious, and when singer Thom Yorke got his alien head-bob going and hit the high notes, everybody in RFK stopped their conversations and turned around to pay rapt attention to Radiohead.

Nobody is going to mistake lead guitarist Jonny Greenwood, bassist Colin Greenwood, guitarist Ed O’Brien, drummer Philip Selway or vocalist Thom Yorke as a batch of carefree, happy-go-lucky blokes, but they are genuine.

As such, “Meeting People Is Easy” isn’t your typical rock-n-roll film either. It’s not a concert, nor does it show any songs being played in their entirety. It’s more an abstract examination of how Radiohead moves through its tour, jumping in between Europe, Japan, and the United States.

There are plane rides, that lead to buses, that lead to cars, that lead to trains. They are always going somewhere next.

Flash bulbs explode at every stop, before, during and after shows. There is one telling scene when the director, Grant Gee, strings together numerous photo ops, so the camera flashes are going off from different shoots like rapid machine gun fire, but really they run together forming one long moment.

That was Radiohead’s life. The modes of travel, interviews, idol worship and flash bulbs.

Radiohead on "The King of Limbs" tour in Cincinnati | 2012.

Radiohead on “The King of Limbs” tour in Cincinnati | 2012.

“OK Computer” had skyrocketed. The CD was critically recognized as the best recording of 1997. It was ahead of its time, as is everything Radiohead has done. It took a couple years for its true impact to be realized, but the film catches the boys in the moment when they transform from being an opening band that does that “Creep” song, to becoming a headliner.

Thom Yorke in particular recognized their lives had changed, forever. No longer could they pop down to the pub for a pint before a show.

It was the curse of fame.

There also is the obvious pressure. When Capitol Records first heard the finished version of “OK Computer” they downgraded its expected sales, deeming it uncommercial.

They were mistaken.

But for Radiohead, their focus quickly shifted from congratulatory, to recognizing they must craft a follow-up disc that meets or exceeds these new expectations.

It’s quite a responsibility to be labeled as “the future of rock?”

The problem for Radiohead is everyone wants to try and quantify them. What does their name mean; there is no song called “OK Computer,” so what is the title about; what inspired certain lyrics, etc.

This isn’t the kind of band that is going to answer those questions. It’s like trying to get a straight response from Bob Dylan. These guys are above all that. Where the ideas come from, I don’t think they know. It just is, so it becomes painful to hear these questions from reporters.

There is a scene in the film where Yorke is alone in his hotel room, his movements are played in reverse, as if forward is backward. Through the window in his room some city, maybe New York City, sits coldly under a grey sky just outside. A sticker has been placed on the window that displays one of Yorke’s character drawings and the message, “i am not here and this is not really happening.”

I can imagine fame might feel this way. One day you are still a regular person, the next it’s all interviews and private jets. You remain the same person inside, but suddenly you’ve been elevated above the masses and everything changed.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not feeling sorry for the rich rock stars. They chose this career, but this kind of pressure and lifestyle is exactly what led Kurt Cobain to kill himself, and many others to self-medicate with drugs.

It all starts happy as the band is trying to make it, then they do and the walls close in, as Pink Floyd so brilliantly depicted in its 1979 concept album, “The Wall.”

Radiohead | Cincinnati | 2012

Radiohead | Cincinnati | 2012

There is a level of alienation that comes with big-time rock and roll, and this film captures that. On one hand “Meeting People Is Easy” is just a video montage, but it also is an art film. Mostly shot in black and white, the shifting scenes together portray the grind of touring and the isolation felt by the members of Radiohead.

Yorke: There’s a line in Karma Police about “he buzzes like a fridge.” You know when you’re driving around in America and you have the alternative stations on in the background or in your hotel room, and it’s just like a fridge buzzing. That’s all I’m hearing, I’m just hearing buzz. It’s really odd. It’s kind of funny though really. I have to laugh.

Interviewer: The one song that you had that was obviously really embraced…

Yorke: Yeah that had the fridge buzzing in it

Interviewer: that had the modern rock format was “Creep.” You first came in with that.

Yorke: That’s good fridge buzz.

The ironically titled “Meeting People Is Easy,” gives us an inside look at Radiohead as they ascend to superstardom, but fight against what they must give up to be famous.

Here they are on this huge world tour, they play before thousands of people nightly and answer all these questions from reporters, but they meet no one.

They cease to exist as merely people. Now it’s impossible to discern whether anybody likes them for who they are, or only wants to meet them because they are Radiohead.

This creates a sense of paranoia, yet these guys are pros, and they find a space within the vortex of celebrity where they can create and survive.

This 90 minute film was nominated for a Grammy Award in 2000 for “Best Long Form Music Video.”

[RADIOHEAD – “MEETING PEOPLE IS EASY”]

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The New Orleans Jazz Fest Announces 2013 Lineup

Outside the Jazz Fest headquarters.

Outside the Jazz Fest headquarters on N. Rampart Street.

Things are jumping in New Orleans these days. Mardi Gras is rolling towards its Fat Tuesday climax on Feb. 12, and the Super Bowl is being hosted next Sunday. You want to see a big party watch all these Mardi Gras parades roll next weekend with the Super Bowl crowd in town.

But I’m here to give a shout out to the next big event on the New Orleans cultural calendar, the Jazz Fest, as its lineup was announced Jan. 17.

The Festival is held the last weekend in April and first weekend in May, which means the second weekend conflicts with the Kentucky Derby. This year the dates are April 26-28 and May 2-5.

It’s tempting to try doing both weekends, and many people coming from Europe and Australia stay for both since they’ve traveled from far and wide, but having persistently done the double dip I must recommend it with trepidation. That’s a brutal 12 days to go without sleep. Even at a young age it’s a rough ride and will take your body some time to recover, so plan with caution.

The 2013 headliners include: The Black Keys # Fleetwood Mac # Dave Matthews Band # Widespread Panic # Gary Clark Jr. # Willie Nelson # Billy Joel # Phoenix # Frank Ocean # B.B. King # Jimmy Cliff # Patti Smith # Andrew Bird # Los Lobos # The Little Willies (feat. Norah Jones) # Hall & Oates # Band of Horses # Earth, Wind & Fire # Taj Mahal # Maroon 5 # John Mayer # Ben Harper and Charlie Musselwhite # Jill Scott # Gipsy Kings # George Benson # Jeffrey Osborne # Little Big Town.

This isn’t the Fest’s most ambitious lineup, but it ain’t too shabby either.

The Black Keys: Dan Auerbach on guitar and Patrick Carney on drums.

The Black Keys: Dan Auerbach on guitar and Patrick Carney on drums.

The Black Keys are smoking hot and will draw a huge crowd; Widespread Panic has been on hiatus and is currently engaging in an abbreviated tour – they will fill the field; Fleetwood Mac never plays festivals; Frank Ocean is a member of the experimental hip hop collective OFWGKTA and hails from New Orleans – should be an emotional set; Gary Clark Jr., from Austin, Texas, is one of the best young guitarists out there, and he’s blowing up; Dave Matthews always draws a record crowd; and I imagine Billy Joel will deliver a monster set after his 2008 appearance was drenched in rain.

This is a nice group of headliners, but it’s the under-card at Jazz Fest that makes this event special. These acts play every year in some incarnation, and for those who attend often, seeing these musicians yearly marks the passage of time.

Dr. John, the Night Tripper, or Mac Rebennack, whatever you want to call him, this New Orleans rhythm and blues legend is the real deal. Drugs, addiction, pimping, prostituting and prison, Dr. John has all that plus five Grammy Awards, and spot in the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame. He played at the farewell show for the Band that later became the movie “The Last Waltz,” and that little festival down in Manchester, TN, got its name from his 1974 album “Desitively Bonnaroo.”

Everybody needs an appointment with the good doctor at some point in their lives. And with his 2012 disc, “Locked Down” having been produced by Dan Auerbach from The Black Keys, rumors are rampant that Dan and the Doctor will be playing together at Fest.

The Neville Brothers and the Marsalis clan are the co-first families of New Orleans. The running joke is every year around Jazz Fest there is a new Neville or Marsalis popping out from somewhere – and damn if they aren’t all good.

The Neville Brothers are part of the biggest story at the 44th annual Jazz Fest. They’ve anchored the closing slot on the second Sunday forever. That privilege is always reserved for them. This year Aaron Neville decided to further his solo career and left the family band, so their usual closing slot was vacated.

As a result Art, Charles and Cyril will perform as The Nevilles on the first Sunday, just before Dave Matthews, and Aaron Neville will close out the Gentilly Stage on the second Sunday with his own quintet.

Trombone Shorty.

Trombone Shorty.

But the bigger part of the story is that Troy “Trombone Shorty” Andrews, and his band Orleans Avenue, have been given the Neville Brothers’ old closing spot. This is a torch passing moment as the 27-year old, who was taken under the wing of Lenny Kravitz at a young age, has blossomed into a mega-star.

This kind of history and back story about who is playing with whom, what stage they are on and what time they play is part of what makes Jazz Fest so special. There is a depth, familiarity and a family relationship between the community, the artists and the city of New Orleans unlike anything found at SXSW, Coachella, Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza, or Austin City Limits.

Here are some of the other folks deserving attention:

Composer and pianist Allen Toussaint; Kermit Ruffins and the Barbecue Swingers; Walter “Wolfman” Washington and the Roadmasters; The Meter Men, which is three-fourths of The Meters, minus Art Neville, but includes Leo Nocentalli on guitar, George Porter Jr. on bass and Zigaboo Modeliste on drums, which will still be plenty funky; Anders Osborne is like The Black Keys via Sweden and New Orleans; Rebirth Brass Band, Dirty Dozen, Hot 8, or Soul Rebels are a must; Sonny Landreth is one of the best slide-guitarists on Earth; Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk is straight nasty; Deacon John, Pete Fountain and Dr. Michael White are classics; Voice of the Wetlands All-Stars is an ensemble of several artists mentioned here; Big Sam’s Funky Nation, Papa Grows Funk and Kris Royal are current ambassadors of New Orleans-based funk and jazz; Meschiya Lake, Pokey LaFarge and Gal Holiday represent the vanguard of young folks who play depression era jazz, bluegrass and honky-tonk (gotta love chicks with tattoos); Marcia Ball; Irma Thomas; Amanda Shaw is a prodigy on the Cajun fiddle; Los Hombres Calientes; Corey Henry alone or with Galactic is the shit; trumpeter Terence Blanchard; Cowboy Mouth; and The New Orleans Bingo! Show, which is a mix between a circus act, a bingo game, burlesque and some serious jams.

I’m still a sicko for the headliners, but certain folks just need to be seen at Jazz Fest. It brings out the best in them and in the crowd.

Tickets for each day of the 2013 Jazz Fest are $50 until day of show. They increase to $65 at the gate. For those looking for VIP treatment check out the Big Chief VIP Experience, the Grand Marshal VIP pass or the Krewe of Jazz Fest pass.

This really is a unique and vibrant festival. The music is foremost, but the art, culture and food play an equal role. Plus there are the AFTERshows.

The Rock n' Bowl club, a great spot to see live Cajun and Zydeco music.

The Rock n’ Bowl club, a great spot to see live Cajun and Zydeco music on S. Carrollton Avenue.

New Orleans is full of live music venues, and there is no closing time, so many of the artists hang around to play night shows. This sets up some epic collaborative moments. As concerts end in the big rooms, famous musicians start dropping by the clubs to gig with friends.

The Jazz Fest ends daily around 6:30 p.m., so there is plenty of time to get a shower, a meal, maybe even a nap, before hitting the clubs. Many of the best shows don’t kick off until after 2:00 a.m., and they go well into the next day. The BBQ trucks will hit Frenchman Street at daybreak ready to feed hungry ravers still up from the night before.

The thing with Jazz Fest is it doesn’t matter which weekend you go, or even who is playing, the food, atmosphere, people, city, sounds, smells, all combine to make it an amazing experience.

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SHOWTIME

LOUISVILLE, KY

Brown Theatre | 315 W. Broadway | Louisville, KY | 502-584-7777

Yo La Tengo w/Calexico | Tue. Jan. 29 | $23 adv-$25 dos | 20:00 | All Ages

Punch Brothers w/Minton Sparks | Tue. Feb. 5 | $26.50 | 19:30 | All Ages

*     *     *     *     *

The Kentucky Center | 501 West Main Street | 502-562-0100

The Moth GrandSLAM Championship | Bomhard Theater | Fri. Feb. 1 | $15 | 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

Zanzabar | 2100 S. Preston Street | Louisville, KY | 502-635-9227

The Helio Sequence w/Shabazz Palaces | Tue. Jan. 29 | $12 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

Silver Tongues w/Matt Duncan | Sat. Feb. 02 | $6 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

*     *     *     *     *

LEXINGTON, KY

Buster’s | 899 Manchester Street | Lexington, KY | 859-368-8871

Umphrey’s McGee | Thu. Jan. 31 | $20 adv-$25 dos | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

*     *     *     *     *

Cosmic Charlie’s | 388 Woodland Avenue | Lexington, KY | 859-309-9499

Umphrey’s McGee After-Party w/ AFRO | Thu. Jan. 31 | $5 | Doors 21:00

Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears | Mon. Feb. 18 | $12 adv-$14 dos | 22:00

*     *     *     *     *

Lyric Theatre & Cultural Art Center | 300 E. 3rd Street | Lexington, KY | 859-280-2201

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy | Mon. Jan. 28 | $20 | 18:45

Victor Wooten | Mon. Feb. 4 | $10 |18:45

J.D. Crowe w/Brandy Miller | Mon. Feb. 11 | $10 | 18:45

*     *     *     *     *

Willie’s Locally Known | 805 N. Broadway | Lexington, KY | 859-281-1116

Scott H. Biram | Tue. Jan. 29 | $8 adv-$10 dos | 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

CINCINNATI, OH

Madison Theater | 730 Madison Avenue | Covington, KY | 859-491-2444

Yonder Mountain String Band | Thur. Jan. 31  | $25 | Doors 19:30-Show 20:30

Dark Star Orchestra | Fri. Feb. 08 | $22 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

*     *     *     *     *

U.S. Bank Arena | 100 Broadway Street | Cincinnati, OH | 513-421-4111

Muse | Wen. Feb. 27 | $39.50-$49.50 | 19:00

*     *     *     *     *

COLUMBUS, OH

The Basement | 391 Neil Avenue | Columbus, OH | 614-461-5483

Menomena | Fri. Feb. 15 | $13 adv-$14 dos | GA | 20:30 | All Ages

*     *     *     *     *

Nationwide Arena | 200 W. Nationwide Boulevard | Columbus, OH | 614-246-200

Tiesto | Thu. Feb. 28 | $48.40 | GA | 19:00

*     *     *     *     *

Newport Music Hall | 1722 N. High Street | Columbus, OH | 614-294-1659

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals | Wed. Jan. 30 | $22 adv-$25 dos | GA | 19:00

Dark Star Orchestra | Sat. Feb. 09 | $25 adv-$27 dos | GA | 20:00

*     *     *     *     *

INDIANAPOLIS, IN

Radio Radio | 1119 E. Prospect Street | Indianapolis, IN | 317-955-0995

Pokey LaFarge | Fri. Feb. 22 | $12 adv-$15 dos | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

NASHVILLE, TN

Exit/In |2208 Elliston Place | Nashville, TN | 615-321-3340

Graveyard w/The Shrine | Wen. Jan. 30 | $15 | Doors 20:00-Show 21:00

*     *     *     *     *

Ryman Auditorium | 116 Fifth Avenue North | Nashville, TN | 615-889-3060

Morrissey | Tue. Jan. 29 | $35.50-$69.50 | 20:00

The XX | Thu. Jan. 31 | $32 | 19:30

*     *     *     *     *

TICKET LINKS

Live Nation

StubHub

TicketMaster

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City Barbeque Makes An Effort

City BarbequeBarbeque has started popping up more often around the Bluegrass Region these days, one recent addition is City Barbeque, which opened last June in Lexington.

Its location on Richmond Road is nestled in between a couple car dealerships, but is plenty visible. When I arrived last Saturday around 6:30 p.m., I wound through the cramped parking lot to find it full. Inside a line stretched from the order window clear to the back of the restaurant.

I was getting carryout, but everyone orders from the same line. It’s cafeteria style, so once you’ve paid the line snakes around till your meal is brought out.

It moves pretty fast, but I recommend placing a to-go order over the phone before showing up. Something that should take five minutes stretched into 30 minutes for me.

Once the food is up take a seat anywhere available.

Being that I had time to kill waiting in line, I used it to eyeball the ambiance of City Barbeque.

Now let me preface this by saying I wish the restaurant all the best and hope they maintain long lines, especially in this economy. That being said I can understand why this place might be doing well in Lexington. It’s safe.

Lexington has a ridiculous number of chain restaurants. These places come prefab in every city, attempting to appear original, and offer mass-produced fare at a moderate price point. You know the names, Applebee’s, Chili’s, Carrabba’s, Johnny Carino’s, T.G.I. Friday’s, Mongolian Grill, etc. These places are about as “original” as the concept that McDonald’s is real food.

My first impression of City Barbeque is it appears to be a smaller version of these same chains. The interior is full of fake corrugated tin and faux distressed wood, in an attempt to give the impression that this restaurant was constructed from the dismantled remains of an old barn or something. They are hoping customers will think this is what a barbeque shack in Alabama or Texas must look like.

If I’m not mistaken they were using chalkboards to advertise menu items, which you see in real BBQ joints, but upon closer inspection I think they were preprinted signs to look like chalkboards.

City Barbeque 2The place is comfortable, has ample seating, some UK paraphernalia on display for the good of the cause, and a well designed City Barbeque logo that is stuck on anything that doesn’t move too fast.

Fake ambiance or not, it all comes down to the smoked meats at a BBQ joint, and my entrée tasted about as authentic as the atmosphere.

I went for the beef brisket, which is the house specialty. There also is pulled pork, sausage, ribs, chicken and turkey, all slow-smoked over aged hickory wood, and the desserts and sides are prepared in-house as well. The brisket was moist, tender and succulent, but had virtually no smoke flavor to it at all. I could tell it had been in the proximity of a room with smoke, but the flavor was faint.

City Barbeque 3Part of what makes barbeque special is the argument about what style is best. Generally speaking it is poor form to try and be all things to all people.

Each style is an art form – choose one and run with it. That is what builds a devoted following.

At City Barbeque the pulled pork is North Carolina-style. The ribs come wet like in St. Louis, while the brisket is similar to what is found in Texas, and is served dry with four sauce options to add if desired.

The original sauce reminded me of something Kraft makes, which is essentially dark ketchup. It was pointless. Their Brush Fire sauce is much spicier, and had a sweet burn that complimented the brisket nicely. There also is a yellow mustard sauce and a vinegar one.

City Barbeque is an Ohio-based company, and has 22 locations spread across the Buckeye State, Indiana and Kentucky. The chain has won several “best of” awards, but winning best barbecue in Ohio is like winning “Best Gumbo” in North Dakota. The bar is pretty low.

It’s not that the food at City Barbeque is bad, it’s just unremarkable, and is served in an atmosphere that is trying way too hard.

I suppose if you consider Olive Garden to be authentic Italian cuisine, by all means give City Barbeque a shot, it might be to your liking.

CITY BARBEQUE

3292 Richmond Road | Lexington, KY | 859-317-4430

Hours: Monday-Saturday 10:30-22:00; Sunday 11:00-2100.

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